*Note: This is a post from almost two years ago, July 2012,  from my personal blog. I wanted to write some thing for Autism Awareness day, but I missed it. Instead, I am reflecting on my awesome kid. Even though we might have hard days (keep reading), I wouldn’t trade him or his diagnosis for anything. Thank you for reading.

One of the hardest things about the Little Man is his resistance to transitions of any kind. He is fine once  the change has happened, but getting there can be like pulling teeth. We have managed to get the, “It’s morning, we go to school.” routine down pretty well. There is a lot of, “No go to school!” and “Maybe later.” but we almost always make it on time to the bus. I am thankful for that. On the other hand, trying to get him to the library (something he loves to do) on a ‘home’ day, can be near impossible.

A trip to the library is what we are working on right now. I have some books on hold that I would love to start reading. I went on a science reading kick the other day and found a new author, Frank Ryan, and a biopunk book that sounds really interesting. I just finished reading a cheesy CIA vampire assassin series, The Jaz Parks series, so I am ready for some non-fiction. Something to read that will actually stimulate my brain instead of providing it a comfort read. Mainly, I want to get out of the house and go pick up these damn books.

There are a number of tricks we use to get the LM ready for things like this, including: telling him at the beginning of the day, and reminding him throughout the day of  the plan, talking about our route (we get to walk past some chickens and he thinks that’s neat), snuggling while we talk about our plans, reminding him of the thing that he gets to do when we are done (going to the playground), counting, racing, and giving him the choice to pick out what clothes he will wear. None of this is working today.

Right now I am at the point where I am trying to decide if I am just going to give up for today and pick them up tomorrow, we will already be in transit, so stopping at the library is so much easier. Or if I am going to make one last push for the library. It is almost two, and we are meeting friends at three thirty so we might not even have time to make it up to the library and back. I know we will get out today because we are meeting friends at the park and he really wants to do that, but, but . . . I just wish it wasn’t so hard sometimes.

The other option is to force the LM to put on pants and carry him down the stairs to the sidewalk. Once he is outside he is usually fine, but I hate doing that kind of thing. Not giving him a choice in the matter feels so wrong and coercive. It is why we plan things the way we do. We make sure we can accomodate the LM and his quirky nature.

Mainly, I am writing all of this out because I want to document it for the future, I want people to understand how the LM works, and I needed to vent a bit so I wouldn’t feel so frustrated and cranky with the LM (that really makes the whole situation worse). Especially since he is at the point where he is throwing things at me and is ‘crying’ because I sent him to his room for a time out. Awesome. If you have made it this far, thank you for reading and helping me process this regularly annoying event. I feel better.

I mean, look at the kid. You would never assume that he was that much trouble. He is kind of amazing. And honestly, not wanting to leave the house isn’t the worst thing that can happen. It is just the thing that is bugging me the most right now.

It is later in the afternoon, and we are now at the point where going out just won’t work. So, I plan to salvage the day by putting on some Pogues and vacuuming the house. It’s not like I don’t have enough to read around the house. Maybe I’ll make pancakes, or cinnamon toast. Heck, I might even clean the bathroom. And I know that we will have fun at the playground, so the day isn’t a complete loss.

Autism spectrum, you have won today. Tomorrow will be another story.

I have been so busy with my day job, that I haven’t felt like I’ve had the time to work on this blog. The spoons from my drawer are almost always in the dishwasher. I started at Intel in June, and continued to Freelance. I found myself going from a 16-24 hour a week job, to full time plus. And I was trying to be a good parent,  partner, and friend too. (I may have failed in some of the non-work areas.) Most of my Freelance work is finished, except for the occasional job, and I have a bit more time to spend on myself and my family.

Of course, as soon as I got more time, I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo for the second year in a row. I started writing with the premise of the second book in the post-apocalyptic series I started last year, and I just couldn’t get into it. After working at it for three or four days, I decided to give up and start with an idea that has been rolling about my head for a long time now.

I have a mostly “Invisible” set of illnesses/disability*, and I wanted to write a book where my main character has a more visible disability. I wanted the frustrations I have with my body, and with the way people treat me to have a more visible and active voice. My main character uses crutches on occasion, but mostly gets around in a wheelchair. There have been times in the past where I thought I would end up in a wheelchair, so I have thought a lot about accessibly and the pain in the ass that comes with our mostly non-assessable world. I also wanted to write a fun story where I could talk about cool old buildings, house restoration, drag-queens, and the friendships that come about through weird situations.

One of the things that I want to do with my writing is have people start to see groups that are marginalized and considered fringe, or abnormal, as normal. (Not that we need to be “normal” per-say, but it would be nice to been seen as a valid and functional human, so I guess that is my version of normal.) This means that my characters are queer, people of color (POC), disabled, or have mental illness. I am not writing these characters to get a rise out of people, or be sensational, I am writing about their (our) lives because they (we) are the people that I identify with. Not being a normalized person makes sense to me.

So, that is what I am doing this month. I am working my tail off at a job that I love, a job that I finally get to use my schooling for, and a job that I think I am getting pretty good at;  I am also in the process of writing my fifth book. So bear with me a little longer, and hopefully, I’ll have more time for this blog as the winter continues. I miss writing here, and I miss interacting with you — yes you, my awesome readers.

As always, I thank you for reading.

*I have a social/general anxiety disorder, Fibromyalgia, Meniere’s disease, Gilbert’s disease, suffer from migraines, and I’m allergic to most of the world. If anyone was interested.